A woman with brown hair, blue eyes, earrings, and a black top holds a paintbrush, standing in front of a large mural of a tree painted on a wall with green leaves and brown bark.

In a world that demands we rush,
this is an invitation to pause

Attention, presence and time is the most precious gift we can give each other. 
So, if you are here, thank you.
Take a breath. Pour a cup of coffee. 
Let me tell you how I found my way back to myself and perhaps, you will find a mirror for your own journey here, too.
A woman in a green dress stands on a patio facing away, holding a large green board, with a small dog walking nearby.

The Art of Blending In

For a long time, my survival strategy was blending in. Moving from Kazakhstan to Germany as a child taught me that the safest way to exist was to hide my accent, meet ambitious expectations, and become exactly what the world needed me to be. 
I was living the blueprint of my external world.
By the time I moved to Amsterdam at 24, I carried that same relentless, perfectionist drive into my career as a scientist. 
I truly love the molecular world. There is something profoundly satisfying about discovering the unknown and connecting the dots of the universe. But the highly competitive, high-pressure field of cancer research demanded an intensity my nervous system could not sustain at that time.
I pushed myself into severe burnout and depression and because of my relentless rushing to meet external expectations, I refused to acknowledge it for years.
A person sitting on a rocky cliff, looking out at the ocean during sunset.

my Big Bang

Eventually, my body made the choice for me. In 2021, I experienced an acute hearing loss and severe balance issues that forced my life to a complete halt.
Suddenly, the world I knew crumbled. My five-year relationship ended. My scientific career felt out of reach. With my family living abroad, I was alone in Amsterdam with my dog and an ocean of emotions I couldn’t articulate. All at once, every pillar of my identity fell away.
In that silence, I realized a hard truth: 
I had been lost long before I lost my hearing. 
I was completely disconnected from the world, my intuition, and myself.
“Not until we are lost, do we begin to find ourselves.”
— Henry David Thoreau
A woman with brown hair holding a small brown poodle puppy. She is wearing a teal dress with spaghetti straps and is facing away from the camera. Behind them are two purple abstract paintings on a white wall, and there are large green houseplants in the foreground.

The art of connection

Art found me through an empty wall.

When my ex-partner left, he took his record player and his LPs, leaving behind an empty display shelves. So I bought 32 blank, 30x30cm canvases with the simple goal of filling that empty space.

I started painting. The racing thoughts stopped. I could finally take a break from my own mind.

The canvas became an external container for the heavy emotions buried inside me. Through art, I discovered that my emotions did not define me; they were just moving through me. I was finally able to let go of the perfectionism I had carried for my entire life. Art gave me a space to pause, to regulate my nervous system, and to simply be.

From there I kept listening, following the signs and trusting the universe....
A woman with short brown hair in a teal dress standing among green plants in a room with white brick walls and a large abstract painting.

creative freedom

I never went to art school, and in many ways, I am grateful. My inner artist has no rules to follow.

The traditional art world often dictates that an artist must have one fixed, recognizable style. But life does not have just one style. We are multi-faceted, constantly evolving humans. 


For that reason I embrace the organic flow, the experimentation, and the imperfection in my work. 

And so much like me, my collections and my style evolve with time.

A woman with shoulder-length brown hair, wearing a black shirt and earrings, is working on a large art piece or mural on a wall in a workshop or studio. The art piece features green and black colors, possibly depicting a tree or nature scene. The woman is touching the wall with her right hand and smiling slightly.

My mission

Whether I am painting an original canvas, collaborating on a custom commission, designing a scientific thesis cover, or leading an art workshop, my intention remains exactly the same: 
I am here to invite you to slow down and connect. I want to inspire you to make the scary choices that align with your heart.

From my experience, there is no light without the shadow and I believe we must experience both to find our true essence.

Let’s start a conversation.

Whether you are drawn to a specific piece, curious about a workshop, or just want to share your own journey -
I am glad you are here. Drop your email below to stay connected to my work, or write me a message directly.

Follow my work on instagram

There’s something about this painting I can’t fully name yet. The red is heavy. Ancient. The green above it is luminous, almost otherworldly. And that circle, sitting there completely still, completely unbothered by what’s beneath
There’s something about this painting I can’t fully name yet. The red is heavy. Ancient. The green above it is luminous, almost otherworldly. And that circle, sitting there completely still, completely unbothered by what’s beneath it. My color choice is evolving. I wouldn’t have picked any of these colors two years ago. None of it was planned. The painting only reveals itself when I let go. The moment I arrive with a fixed idea, it closes. The moment I surrender to the texture and follow what’s already there, something opens. A canyon isn’t made by force either. It’s carved by what flows through it. Slowly. Without announcement. What looks still on the surface holds the most history underneath. Maybe that’s what this painting is about. Maybe time will show me something else entirely. Inner Canyon is currently on display at @coldclubclub in Amsterdam. I hope it brings you some warm feelings after your ice bath 🥶😌 The painting is available for sale. If it’s calling you, reach out. ♥️ #abstractpainting #innercanyon #intothedepth #artamsterdam #abstractart
Inner Canyon is part of my Into the Depth collection. This is where I go when I just want to be. No concept. No plan. Just a canvas, a colour, and the willingness to follow what comes. I had the base layer sitting for over a year. Every time I came
Inner Canyon is part of my Into the Depth collection. This is where I go when I just want to be. No concept. No plan. Just a canvas, a colour, and the willingness to follow what comes. I had the base layer sitting for over a year. Every time I came back to it and tried to steer it somewhere, it resisted. Nothing worked. The moment I stopped trying, a canyon appeared. That’s how this collection works. The painting only reveals itself when I let go of what I think it should be. The texture guides me. Not the other way around. I still don’t fully know what this one is saying. But I’ve learned to trust that it knows something I don’t yet. Rick Rubin writes that we don’t always understand what the work contains until it’s done. Sometimes not even then. I’m still waiting. But I’ve learned to trust the waiting. Available; link in bio. #abstractpainting #innercanyon #intothedepth #artamsterdam #abstractart
Turkey Tail 2.0. Each piece is painted on a 12×12 cm @formicagroup high pressure laminate samples: the same architectural samples that were almost thrown away. Every one of them different. Different colour, different form, different energy. I
Turkey Tail 2.0. Each piece is painted on a 12×12 cm @formicagroup high pressure laminate samples: the same architectural samples that were almost thrown away. Every one of them different. Different colour, different form, different energy. I didn’t plan any of them. I picked up the spatula and followed what came through. Working this small asks something of you… you can’t hide on a 12×12 surface. Every mark either belongs there or it doesn’t. What I love about this collection is that it sits at the exact intersection of everything I am. The scientist who trusted data. The artist who follows instinct. The person in recovery who learned to pay attention to what keeps showing up. The Turkey Tail kept showing up. This is the second edition after the first has sold out last year. 🤍 A few pieces are still available 🍄 #turkeytail #abstractart #mushroomart #db55amsterdam #artamsterdam
I never thought I’d be painting mushrooms. Honestly, I never thought I’d be painting anything. For years I was in a lab. I trusted data. I trusted what could be measured, repeated, proven. Everything else felt uncertain in a way that ma
I never thought I’d be painting mushrooms. Honestly, I never thought I’d be painting anything. For years I was in a lab. I trusted data. I trusted what could be measured, repeated, proven. Everything else felt uncertain in a way that made me uncomfortable. Then burnout. Hearing loss. Recovery. And in the quiet of all of that, mushrooms started appearing everywhere. Documentaries. Trails. Conversations I hadn’t invited. So I followed the curiosity. My life wasn’t the same ever since. In the most positive way. The Turkey Tail collection is about being open to challenge your beliefs. Some things can’t be explained or measured but only felt and experienced. Available on my website 🍄🤍 #turkeytail #abstractart #mushroomart #scienceandart #artamsterdam
Nothing about this series was planned. In 2024 I had my first exhibition at @db55amsterdam, a blended venue in Amsterdam that I fell in love with the moment I walked in. The energy, the people, the way the space breathes. During that time, the arch
Nothing about this series was planned. In 2024 I had my first exhibition at @db55amsterdam, a blended venue in Amsterdam that I fell in love with the moment I walked in. The energy, the people, the way the space breathes. During that time, the architects based there were doing a clear out. High-pressure laminate samples from @formicagroup. Architectural offcuts. Out of season. Destined for the bin. When I heard they were being discarded, something in me said: I don’t think so 🤓 I took them home. I didn’t know what I was going to do with them. I just knew I didn’t want to let them disappear before they had the chance to become something else. That’s how Turkey Tail was born. This collection is the second edition after the first has been sold out. Nothing is ever wasted. Everything becomes something. #turkeytail #abstractart #mushroomart #sustainableart #artamsterdam
There is a memory I have of me and my cousin: long car drives, the two of us pressed against the window, finding animals in the clouds. A horse. A dragon. A face. I had the urge to express that on canvas somehow. And when I started looking into it,
There is a memory I have of me and my cousin: long car drives, the two of us pressed against the window, finding animals in the clouds. A horse. A dragon. A face. I had the urge to express that on canvas somehow. And when I started looking into it, I learned that this phenomenon has a name. Pareidolia: the tendency of the human mind to find familiar patterns in randomness. Faces in clouds. Figures in tree bark. Meaning where there might be none. It’s not imagination. It’s how we’re wired. I chose black and white deliberately. No colour to guide you. No mood to suggest what you should feel. Just light and shadow, and whatever you bring with you. Because that’s the thing about pareidolia. What you see says more about you than it does about the painting. And I also believe that abstract art somehow allows us to access our subconscious and make it conscious if we allow it. A few pieces from this series are still available. Not on my website. If one of them is calling you, reach out directly. #pareidolia #blackandwhiteart #abstractpainting #artamsterdam #originalpainting
The owner of this piece wrote to me: “I see a face…probably mine. A mix of black and white, just like me, just like my mum and dad. The splashes are my imperfections but also the things that define me. And that’s beautiful. Becaus
The owner of this piece wrote to me: “I see a face…probably mine. A mix of black and white, just like me, just like my mum and dad. The splashes are my imperfections but also the things that define me. And that’s beautiful. Because I usually want everything to be perfect.” Pareidolia: the psychological phenomenon of seeing familiar patterns in randomness. Faces in clouds. Your own story in a stranger’s painting. I didn’t put her face there. She brought it with her. Abstract art doesn’t tell you what to see. It shows you what you’re ready to understand about yourself once the right piece finds you. 🖤 #pareidolia #abstractart #artpsychology #abstractpainting #whatdoyousee
This is the only painting I have ever turned into a limited edition print. There is a reason for that. In 2021 I was in the middle of the hardest periods of my life. Recovering from acute hearing loss and vertigo. My relationship fell apart. And so
This is the only painting I have ever turned into a limited edition print. There is a reason for that. In 2021 I was in the middle of the hardest periods of my life. Recovering from acute hearing loss and vertigo. My relationship fell apart. And so the vinyl collection left with him and left four rows of empty shelves. I stared at them for a while. Then I bought 32 canvases and decided to fill the void myself. I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew I had to. The octopus was one of my first paintings. A blob of paint that became something I didn't plan, didn't expect, and couldn't explain. Then @sham.man.tunes (a little bit crazy, a lot visionary🫶🏻) invited me to bring my work to a NYE party in 2022/2023. I thought he was out of his mind; but turned out he wasn’t 🤍 That night changed something in me. It was the first time I shared my art. And for the first time in a long time I felt reconnected to myself, to others, to the present moment. Art bypassed all the small talk (which I was very allergic to at that time) and went straight to the deep stuff. Real conversations between strangers who recognised something in each other through art. Four pieces found a home that night. The octopus was one of them. I lost contact with the person who took it home. If you're reading this, please reach out. I’d love to hear from you 🫶🏻 I've never wanted to make prints. But this piece kept coming back to me. It represents where everything began: the void, the healing, the unexpected reconnection. The octopus is printed on 310gsm German etching paper. A heavyweight fine art paper used for museum quality editions. The texture of the paper brings the depth of the original to life. Available in three sizes: 30×30 · 60×60 · 90×90 cm. Limited edition. Once they're gone, that's it. A few are left. DM me directly. Not available on my website 🐙 #abstractart #octopus #limitededitionprint artamst
How it all began… When enough time passes, you start to see things clearly. It’s crazy but these shelves are really the beginning of it all. They used to be filled with vinyls. And when the person they belonged to left, they were empt
How it all began… When enough time passes, you start to see things clearly. It’s crazy but these shelves are really the beginning of it all. They used to be filled with vinyls. And when the person they belonged to left, they were empty. The only reason I started painting was the need to fill that emptiness. I had no idea what else to put there except art. Somehow I felt the call to create that art myself. So I got 32 canvases. Started painting. No rules. And somewhere in the process, I discovered how much art helped me to take a break from my mind and get back to myself. From then on, these shelves have never been empty. Continuously changing, continuously evolving. Never the same. Follow that creative voice inside you. You never know where it’ll lead you. 😌 #artistorigin #artashealing #abstractartist #selfdiscovery #newbeginnings
April you’ve been so busy. I almost forgot to take the time to remember you. From painting to beautiful sunsets, creative chaos, to the delivery and successful installation of my biggest piece yet. An exhibition opening at @lot61coffee with y
April you’ve been so busy. I almost forgot to take the time to remember you. From painting to beautiful sunsets, creative chaos, to the delivery and successful installation of my biggest piece yet. An exhibition opening at @lot61coffee with y‘all ☕️🤍 Art and nail board workshops with the best company. Thank you @balance_breathing and @reddit. Dogs were not missing of course 🐶 Sauna + ice bath + breathwork @coldclubclub 🥶 p.s. Have arm muscles now and found a turtle at Vondelpark too 🐢 #artistlife #aprilrecap #reallife #amsterdamartist
There’s something about this painting I can’t fully name yet. The red is heavy. Ancient. The green above it is luminous, almost otherworldly. And that circle, sitting there completely still, completely unbothered by what’s beneath Inner Canyon is part of my Into the Depth collection. This is where I go when I just want to be. No concept. No plan. Just a canvas, a colour, and the willingness to follow what comes. I had the base layer sitting for over a year. Every time I came Turkey Tail 2.0. Each piece is painted on a 12×12 cm @formicagroup high pressure laminate samples: the same architectural samples that were almost thrown away. Every one of them different. Different colour, different form, different energy. I I never thought I’d be painting mushrooms. Honestly, I never thought I’d be painting anything. For years I was in a lab. I trusted data. I trusted what could be measured, repeated, proven. Everything else felt uncertain in a way that ma Nothing about this series was planned. In 2024 I had my first exhibition at @db55amsterdam, a blended venue in Amsterdam that I fell in love with the moment I walked in. The energy, the people, the way the space breathes. During that time, the arch There is a memory I have of me and my cousin: long car drives, the two of us pressed against the window, finding animals in the clouds. A horse. A dragon. A face. I had the urge to express that on canvas somehow. And when I started looking into it, The owner of this piece wrote to me: “I see a face…probably mine. A mix of black and white, just like me, just like my mum and dad. The splashes are my imperfections but also the things that define me. And that’s beautiful. Becaus This is the only painting I have ever turned into a limited edition print. There is a reason for that. In 2021 I was in the middle of the hardest periods of my life. Recovering from acute hearing loss and vertigo. My relationship fell apart. And so How it all began… When enough time passes, you start to see things clearly. It’s crazy but these shelves are really the beginning of it all. They used to be filled with vinyls. And when the person they belonged to left, they were empt April you’ve been so busy. I almost forgot to take the time to remember you. From painting to beautiful sunsets, creative chaos, to the delivery and successful installation of my biggest piece yet. An exhibition opening at @lot61coffee with y